It is conference time again

Sitting here watching conference made me desire to write in my Journal again.  I figured I would update my blog.  We have made it past six months since the tragedy.  We are as strong as we can be.

The girls are back in school and having a blast.  Of course this also means that I'm back on the School Board full time.  Anyway, on Scharae's first day of school there was an assembly.  During this assembly the principal announced teachers by what they did when they were younger and the kids had to guess who she was speaking of.  "This teacher," said the principal, "did cross country training when younger."  Scharae has an excited look upon her face and looks at her teacher saying, "I know who it is."  "You do!" responds her teacher.  "Yes it is the Lord.  He is the one that died on the cross."  Her teacher loves it when comments like that are said.

I'm well into my studying for MLC.  I'm really not that positive on doing well this exam.  We will see, but I may have to retake it next year.  In the words of The Maze Runner "Everything will be different."  The exam will change just a little next year so I will need to get new manuals.  I believe that I will go back to the ACTEX ones.  I think I work better with that publisher.

Two weeks of sorrow

After the loss of my son all I can think of is how thankful I am that I didn't lose my wife. Life goes on. My wife's health improves. I continue to try to be better; sure I mess up sometimes, but I try to do right and get back on track. I love my wife and love her life with me.

What pain can we endure

I believe that the most difficult part of this whole experience is just knowing that the girls will ask questions when mom comes home. Her being in septic shock was very scary. Especially after reading the statistics for mortality. However, when the girls start asking about the baby boy that will never come into our home that is when my wife will shed the most tears. She spoke to them on the phone today and already shed a lot. Well we have a couple more days to prepare, and then there will be a funeral.

Can they resist?

I was in an actuary meeting today. The topic of discussion was adaptu.com and how it was created. It was a lunch and discussion. During the speech someone started opening a bag of chips. I watched my neighbors out of the corner of my eyes and I found it amusing how every single one of them had to peek a glance at the person opening the chips. I resisted but the could not.

Grand Slam

I made my first Grand Slam at the Salem Bridge Club.  My partner opened 1♣.  I had 17 points.  I made my bid of 1♠.  She raised to 3♣.  I knew that she had more than an opener and at least 6♣s.  I had 2 so I knew we had a fit.  I went to 4NT.  We did simple blackwood, although I prefer RKC.  She bid 5♥.  We had all aces.  So I pushed on to 5NT.  She bid 6♥, so we were missing a king.  I counted from my hand four winning spades, at least one heart and one diamond (aces in my hand).  I knew that we had at least 8 clubs and she had two undisclosed kings.  So I went for it all at 7NT.  A heart was played that led straight to my A, Q…but she had the K so no concern there.  I then noticed that she had a whopping 18 points and 7 clubs, headed by the A, K, Q.  Clubs broke 3 -1 and it was a lay down.  It was top board (everyone else stopped at 6 NT) and awesome.

North (dealer)

♣AKQxxxx

♦Qxxx

♥K

♠A

South

♣xx

♦AJxx

♥AQx

♠KQJx

It's the vines

I keep having this reacurring dream. My wife and I are at crescent lake and we have to scale a cliff to get down. We the search for something onthe beach and pull ourselves up via some vines. It is a struggle but we finally make it up.

If father love mother

My five year old got a monkey stuffed animal from us for Valentine's Day. She wanted to know if she was going to see me tonight in order to thank me for the gift. She then asked "what did he get you, because father is suppose to get mother something, if he loves her. Doesn't he love you?"

Do you know him?

So the family was at Baja Fresh, yesterday.  We go there every Valentine's Day or close to it as our family tradition.  We were sitting next to the door.  Two guys walk in and head towards a table to set stuff down.  My four year old daughter's face lit up and exclaimed "Mom look who it is, its those men." Both my wife and I look over there at the guys and look back at each other a little confused.  My wife asks her "Do you know those men?" "No, I just have never seen them before."

I thought that was pretty funny and then I thought of the significance of being seen.  We are told that Christ knows each of us.

Today, during the blessing of her sandwich, she said "Thank you for the food and please bless the food and the drink and Mommy." After the prayer my five year old said, "well I don't say bless Mommy in all my prayers."  To which she replied, "well she needs to be blessed."  "I know that, just I don't always say it."

From the mouth of a four year old the significance of honoring your Father and Mother and being your [Mother's] keeper is shown from this experience.  She knows what is going on.  She amazes me at how smart she is.  My gorgeous wife and I try to teach them what is right and wrong as much as we can.  I sometimes wish we can teach more.

I'm here

It was an interesting week.  Nonetheless I survived.  I've been listening to Hugh Nibley lately...my Grandma would be proud.  Listening to the lessons there was a comment that ancient civilizations, in order to prove a spiritual experience, would sniff burning bay leaves that would make them pass out.  I mentioned this to a co-worker and told her that I wanted to research that online.  She said that I shouldn't try that until after my actuary exams.  Considering I've never done anything like that I told her that I wouldn't.  I then told her that I was just curious if that could actually happen...I would never do it.  My boss had a good laugh about that.

At Subway, day before yesterday, a police officer walked in and asked the worker "whose bags are by the table."  The worker said "the lady was in the bathroom."  He asked "if she was causing any problems."  "Not today," the worker replied, "but she was causing some problems yesterday."  "Okay," he said, "we had a complaint at Starbucks."  Just then she walked out and rolled her eyes walking to her bags.  The officer asked her "how are you?"  "Horrible," she exhorted, "the worker at Starbucks stole my gloves."  They then didn't say anything for about five minutes and then she yelled at the officer, "stop harassing me."  He replied "I haven't said anything more since how are you."  "Well your harassing me," she then stomped out with her bags.  It was interesting.  I told my co-worker and she said if she started losing her mind let her know.  I told her I would make sure to find her on the streets and put her in a home.

My daughter fell down the stairs head over heals on Thursday.  Luckily she didn't injure herself.  I don't even believe the dogs were running up and down the stairs.

I have the privilege of giving a talk at the end of the month.  The verse, Genesis 4:9, "And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother?  And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?"  Cain knowing perfectly well what happened to Abel, he didn't have multiple personalities or something like that, quickly lied to in answering the question.  In trying to justify his lie he adds the phrase "Am I my brother's keeper?"  The truth is that we are our brother's keeper and we best not be forgetting that.  We should "love thy neighbor as ourselves" (Matthew 22:39). and "Love [our] enemies, bless them that curse [us], do good to them that hate [us], and pray for them which despitefully use [us], and persecute [us]" (Matthew 5:44).

A wonderful example of Matthew 5:44 is found in the Book of Mormon.  Enos prayed diligently for forgiveness of his sins, all day and he didn't cease when the night came; aren't we lucky if we can even get past ten minutes of prayers...let alone hours.  A response came stating that "[his] sins [were] forgiven...and [he] shalt be blessed" (Enos 1:5).  Now he could have stopped right there and wandered on home feeling clean and pure.  However, he didn't.  In fact he proceeds to "feel a desire for the welfare of [his] brethren, the Nephites, wherefore, [he] did pour out [his] whole soul unto God for them" (Enos 1:9).  He was told that they would be visited from time to time "according to their diligence in keeping [God's] commandments," (Enos 1:10) but with a strict caution that if they fall into transgression he will "bring ... sorrow upon their own heads" (Enos 1:10). 

Now Enos had received forgiveness for his own sins and had been guaranteed, from God, that the Nephites wouldn't be forgotten; his work is done...right...he should just head on back.  No, it wasn't completed.  Remember the loving your enemies part.  He prays on.  Now recall that Enos is the son of Jacob who was the son of Lehi.  What happened to Jacob?  Well, along with the other Nephites, he was persecuted from the Lamanites.  We don't have all the records of their wars and contentions, but there were many.  Of course there was some great qualities of the Lamanites, such as their devotion to their wife, as Jacob addresses in chapter 3 of Jacob.  Notwithstanding there was still some hard feelings between the Lamanites and the Nephites.  So what would Enos think concerning this situation...love enemies...it states that he "prayed unto [God] with many long strugglings for [his] bretheren, the Lamanites" (Enos 1:11).  Wow...what dedication...what faith...do you see the being a brother's keeper in that.  Remember that the Nephites, at least Enos, was continuously trying to teach the Lamanites the truth without success...I'm sure missionaries never experience that.  So what was he praying for?  In his own words he states:

And now behold, this was the desire which I desired of [God]—that if it should so be, that my people, the Nephites, should fall into transgression, and by any means be destroyed, and the Lamanites should not be destroyed, that the Lord God would preserve a record of my people, the Nephites; even if it so be by the power of his holy arm, that it might be brought forth at some future day unto the Lamanites, that, perhaps, they might be brought unto salvation— (Enos 1:13)

If only we could be more like Enos.