How We Met

Love is all the world needs.  

In a week, eight years ago, I faced my wife and, without forcing her, neither was she hypnotized (except for my exceptionable good looks), in joint agreement we were married for eternity.  These years have brought happiness, sorrow for loss, and completeness.  

Below is the story of our first meeting (hmm sounds like a good book) from my point of view...for we all know hers (which about half of what she says is fiction).  This story, to your dismay, will not contain an onion ring or me on one knee at Dairy Queen.

The first meeting, to which I cannot recall her, but she recalls me (this part wasn't fiction; I saw a photo of it).  

At a party, November 7, 2003, across from each other, we sat or so my story assumes, me in my old navy yellow shirt and Tif in her scarf, playing a name game, at an activity that I barely recall (my journal just states that "It was kind of cool" for some reason I omitted stating that within that room sat the girl that would truly make me happy and fix me dinner on holidays).  In this game we each chose a name of someone in the group.  Tif chose mine and, according to her, I chose hers every time we played a new round.  In the vast amount of cosmic universal atoms exploding all around there we were, but the time wasn't right.  You see I was dating this tiny blonde girl, named Crystal, that ultimately would be the one and only girl to dump me (yeah I just stopped calling the other ones...think bad of me now and stop reading if you want to).  In fact she dumped me the very next day and after a long discussion with Russ (my best friend), I would write of that day, "even though the day looked dark, in my mind's eye, now that darkness is gone light emerges and I'm a new man."

Five months would pass, before I would connect with the girl whose smile would be the light of my life.  To me they were filled with increasing my knowledge, passing exams, and trying to piece together the shattered remnants of my broken heart strewn across my apartment or playing video games.  To Tif they were filled with the daydreams of a young man who looked just as charming as me and owned the same name...okay…okay she probably dated somebody twice my height and didn't daydream of me at all.

We will now fast forward to March 31st.  I was told of a group date that was going to occur on April 2nd and was commanded to find a date.  This was inconvenient to me; I just purchased a new computer and was in the middle of a very important strategic assault, the annihilation of the Carthaginian Empire, on Civilization 3 Conquests.  I thought about it for a day and mentioned it to a girl I knew (rather than some random stranger in the checkout line at Fred Meyer...please note that there is not an 's' at the end of that store’s name), Trisha; I didn't really ask her to join me, and she stated "yes I might be there."  I had a serious flaw in my conversation because I omitted the concept that it was a group date and the purpose was for one male to take one female and I was asking her to be that female.  April 2nd came and Trisha asked me, "were you trying to ask me out on a group date tonight?"

"Yes" I replied.

"Oh, because someone else asked me."

"Wonderful!" I replied as a new strategy to undermine the Carthaginian Empire came into mind.  

I rushed home, after a fun filled day of Math and Physics, and booted up my computer.  Opened up Civilization 3 Conquests and gloried as my troops moved in on Carthage.  Just then the phone rang.

  

"Hey this is Clay did you find a date for tonight?"

"Oh great," I thought, he had not heard of my ultimate blunder and how I was unable to ask a girl out even though I downloaded a 30 page PDF file on "How to Ask a Girl Out On a Date in Six Words."  Yeah it took until page 29 before I realized that the six words were "Will you go out with me?" talk about keeping me on the edge of my seat.  "No." I replied.

"Well I think I might be able to get you one.  I'll call you back in five minute."

"Great," I said.  What was I a charity case; anyway I had to contemplate a strategy on how to strike a blow to the American's next.  You see I was playing as the Russians.  Five minutes went by and New York fell to my Cossacks and Crusaders, that were being continuously trained at the Knight's Templar.  To my irritation the phone rang again.  

"Hey this is Clay again.  I have a date for you, her name is Tiffany."  Bummer I was hoping that the Pizza man was calling me to inform me that they messed up my order, two days prior, and that they would have to send out a new free delivery.

"Okay see you tonight."  As I hung up I thought "of course he has a date for me.  The girls just line up."  Now remember I really had more important things than dealing with a night out on the town.  Seriously, what self-respecting person would turn off the turn based destruction of artificial empires to spend time with a girl I didn't know, who I would probably have more in common with the dust particles orbiting Venus than her and would interfere with my glorious connection with my new computer.

Well I arrived at the girls' apartment, which housed my swing dance partner and physics buddy.  Let me get one thing straight this was not the house where Tif abode.  So I sat there and waited (later to learn that I would wait for her a lot)...probably talked with some people about astronomy and how at least one out of every twenty stars had orbiting planets.  After thoroughly boring the crowd, to the extent that they were praying for Tif's arrival, she came.  Now it wasn't like the Goddess Aphrodite descending from Asherah, just about that close, and I supposed she would do for a fun night.

The date began.  Each couple had to brainstorm to come up with an idea for an outfit theme that another couple would have to dress up in at Value Village (probably found on page 72 of Fun Dates for Broke College Students).  Our idea was Sea Animals.  The theme we chose was Cowboy Hitching.  The group arrived at value village and invaded the aisles like ferocious shoppers on Black Friday, we had a time limit or at least I set one in my mind (the American's were still thriving inside my computer at home).  I noticed an old school video game of Contra and pointed it out.  To which she replied, "I love that game."  (I would later go out and buy a controller for my computer and download the emulator and game onto my computer…just in case).  Anyway, the end result can be viewed in the picture below.  How many couples have a picture of their first date?  I was a perfect gentleman and had enough spark to make her want more of me (like I said the girls lined up).  I mean seriously we were already practically engaged and hitching out of town with our bags (I guess she really wanted to get away from her family or a person that she was still dating...hmm that is for another story).

Now that I have yins hooked you will have to wait for my next installment (if it takes as long as it took to edit Liz and Erik's wedding video it might be a year so don't wait in an uncomfortable position).  My story isn't complete, for the woman that I would ditch my swing partner for (okay so my swing partner ditched me), set aside my video game addiction, throw away my book on Pickup Lines for Geeky Mathematicians (problem was only Mathematicians understood the lines) and ultimately would become my Aphrodite with just as much if not more beauty, the glory of my life and the woman that I adore, the story is just beginning.